Identifying with Consciousness, Not Fear
And the Importance of Feeling Confusion in Your Development
A major barrier to psychological change is the identification with what is causing suffering. This manifests in the inclination to hold and uphold ideals rooted in fear (i.e., standards of perfection). For instance, out of a fear of failure, the ideal of achievement can be adopted (e.g., “I must achieve a high level of success, or I will be a failure.”) In this process, our identity becomes enmeshed with achievement (e.g., “I am my achievements and my failures.”). We can also enter into a state of identity crisis if we are not working towards those fear-based ideals (e.g., “I don’t know who I am when I’m not working.”)
Over time, this psychological setup proves to be problematic. The sense of accomplishment that satisfies the ego is short-lived; and it’s only a matter of time before a devastating sense of failure emerges. Because the ego boost feels so good though, not everyone realizes that the high exists only in relation to the low. The focus becomes on chasing the highs - which ultimately also bring lows - rather than avoiding this duality all together. In this fear-based system, what goes up, must come down.
We, however, do not need to live in this dualistic system. The key to escaping is understanding that fear is the polarizing force; and that there is another choice: compassion. Operating from compassion - unlike its divisive counterpoint, fear - is unifying. Continuing with the example of achievement, when your starting point is the compassion-based ideal of offering a meaningful contribution instead of avoiding personal failure, the experience is much different. For starters, the highs are not as high, and the lows are not as low. There isn’t this desperate grasping at the particular outcome our egos happen to want.
Operating from a place of compassion, our individual ego-based identity as a success or failure is not on the line. Instead, the identification is with the loving consciousness making the meaningful contributions. From within the fearful mindset, it is difficult to imagine identifying with being anything else but fear-based. And circularly, because one is in a state of fear, it is scary to think about leaving behind that state of fear for the unknown. It’s a trap.
If this concept of being fearful of not being fearful resonates for you: it’s worth taking the risk of escaping. Feeling confused about who you are and what you’re doing is exactly what you need to do before crossing over. Ultimately, the water is fine over here! You just need to jump in.
