Why You Don't Need to Prove Anything to Anyone (Not Even Yourself)

Here we are going to explore why you absolutely don’t need to prove anything to anyone (not even yourself). We’re going to start off with what will probably read as an unnecessary related line of inquiry, but we’ll bring it home. Thanks in advance for the trust.

Although we may be unaware of it, we are constantly making a decision between doing what is fulfilling and what is enticing but hollow. When put in these abstract terms, it is easy to understand that the “right” choice here is to do what is fulfilling. But in the every day, choices aren’t neatly presorted into one of these two categories. Taking advantage of this ambiguity, our egos start unnecessarily complicating matters.

Let’s consider psychological attachment to the ideal of wealth. Displays of money are everywhere you look. If we aren’t careful - which few of us are - we can easily be incepted with the idea that having extreme wealth is an ideal we should be striving towards. Without mindful and fastidious pruning of the psychological messages we receive, we can come away with this idea that how much money we have (i.e., our net-worth) is somehow tied to our self-worth.

With this internalized ideal of wealth lodged in our psyche, we assume that we simply must be wealthy… or else. Since how much money we have is now tied to our self-worth, it stands to reason that we would be worthless without the wealth. Now, that’s a scary thought, isn’t it? And the ego wants none of that feeling. The ego wants us to be worthy. The ego also wants us to be important.

All of a sudden, the choice between what is fulfilling and what is enticing but hollow is not so clear. With this fear in place that we won’t be enough or have enough, it might seem like a fulfilling path to get all that money after all.

Of course, extreme wealth isn’t the only ideal that is enticing. It exists along with youth, beauty, thinness, power, and too many more hollow ideals to list here. For fun, go back through the previous paragraphs and insert any of these ideals where it says “wealth” or “money” in bold. There might be some light Mad Lib moments, but you’ll still be able to see that same principles apply.

When we are unthinkingly tethered to these ideals, we are in diametric opposition to internal freedom. Out of fear of our own worthlessness, we get stuck in the process of trying to prove ourselves. Sometimes, we are so invested in pursuing our method of feeling worthy, we don’t even realize that our psychological wellness is the cost. But it is the cost. Continuing on this path, you will only reinforce your own idea that you need to be something other than yourself to feel worthy. And you don’t need to prove shit to anyone. Not even yourself.